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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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SHAGGY DOG JOKE

THERE ONCE WAS A BOY CALLED JOHN. ONE DAY HE AND HIS FRIEND WERE
WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND THEY HEARD SOMEONE SAY THE WORD
EVERGREEN.
AND JOHN DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEANT. SO HE ASKED HIS FRIEND
WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANT. HIS FRIEND GASPED AND SAID,"YOU
MEAN THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS?" NO REPLIED
JOHN, "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?" "I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU
WHAT EVERGREEN MEANS. GO AND ASK YOUR MOTHER. SO JOHN WENT HOME AND
WALKED UP TO HIS MOTHER AND SAID "MOM WHAT DOES THE WORD EVERGREEN
MEAN?"
HIS MOTHER GASPED AND SAID "I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT
THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS."
"GO AND ASK YOUR FATHER." SO WHEN HIS FATHER RETURNED FROM
WORK JOHN SAID
"DAD WHAT DOES THE WORD EVERGREEN MEAN?" HIS FATHER GASPED
AND SAID, "I
AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS,
GO AND ASK YOUR
TEACHER" SO THE NEXT DAY JOHN WENT UP TO HIS TEACHER
AND SAID, "WHAT DOES
THE WORD EVERGREEN MEAN?" HIS TEACHER GASPED AND SAID
"I AM NOT GOING TO
TELL YOU WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS, GO TO THE OFFICE."
SO JOHN WENT TO THE OFFICE AND THE PRINCIPAL SAID "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN MY
OFFICE?" JOHN SAID "ALL THAT I DID WAS ASK MY TEACHER WHAT THE WORD
EVERGREEN MEANT." THE PRINCIPAL GASPED AND SAID,
"GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL AND
DO NOT EVER COME BACK." SO JOHN WAS WALKING HOME AND
HE SAW A POLICEMAN.
SO HE WENT UP THE POLICEMAN AND SAID
"MISTER POLICE OFFICER I WAS JUST
KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I JUST ASKED
WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANT." THE OFFICER GASPED
AND SAID "I AM NOT
GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT EVERGREEN MEANS. IN FACT I AM
GOING TO HAVE TO ARREST YOU." SO THE OFFICER TOOK JOHN TO JAIL
AND HE WAS NOT SEEN UNTIL TWO WEEKS LATER WHEN HE WAS
BROUGHT BEFORE THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE SAID "WHAT ARE YOU HERE
FOR JOHN?" JOHN SAID "ALL THAT I DID WAS ASK WHAT THE WORD
EVERGREEN MEANT." THE JUDGE GASPED AND SAID "I AM NOT GOING
EITHER, IN FACT I AM GOING TO SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE IN JAIL."
JOHN APPEALED THE CASE AND IT WAS TAKEN ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREME
COURT WHERE THE DECISION WAS UPHELD. WHEN JOHN GOT TO JAIL HIS
CELLMATE ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS IN FOR. JOHN SAID "ALL I DID
WAS ASK WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANT." HIS CELL MATE
GASPED AND DEMANDED TO BE MOVED AWAY FROM JOHN. SOON JOHN WAS IN
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD GO NEAR HIM. FINALLY
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD GO NEAR HIM . FINALLY
AFTER TWENTY YEARS IN PRISON JOHN WAS PAROLED.
AT THE FIRST MEETING WITH
HIS PAROLE OFFICER JOHN SAID, "I HAVE SPENT ALMOST TWENTY ONE YEARS
OF MY LIFE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS, COULD
YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS?" THE PAROLE OFFICER
GASPED BUT FELT
SORRY FOR JOHN AND SAID, "I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU
WHAT IT MEANS, BUT I WILL SHOW YOU HOW THE MEANING CAN BECOME
KNOWN TO YOU." SO HE TOOK JOHN OUT INTO THE COUNTRY AND STOPPED
AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THEY GOT OUT OF THE CAR AND THE OFFICER
SAID "STAND IN THIS BUSH UNTIL THE LIGHT IN THE HOUSE ACROSS THE
STREET COMES ON AROUND MIDNIGHT, THEN CROSS THE STREET
AND GO UP TO THE DOOR AND ASK THE MAN WHO ANSWERS WHAT THE
WORD EVERGREEN MEANS." SO JOHN WAITED IN THE BUSHES GETTING
VERY EXCITED. FINALLY THE LIGHT IN THE HOUSE HAD COME ON.
THE TIME WAS NEAR, JOHN JUMPED OUT OF THE BUSHES AND RAN ONTO THE
STREET AND WAS RUN OVER BY A PASSING TRUCK." THE MORAL OF
THE STORY IS TO LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY CAN BE TOLD USING ANYONE'S NAME WHO IS IN THE LISTENING
AUDIENCE. WHEN I FIRST HEARD THE STORY I WAS THE CHARACTER "JOHN"

Where learned: BAHAMAS ; FREEPORT

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale

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GERMAN SONG

DU, DU LIEGHT MIR IN HERZON.
DU, DU LIEGHT MIR IN HERZEN,
DU, DU LIEGST MIR IM SINN.
DU, DU MAEHST MIR VIEL SCHMER-ZEN,
WEIST NICHT WIE GUT ICH DIR BIN;
JA, JA, JA, JA WEIST NIGHT, WIE GUT ICH DIR BIN! MM
YOU, YOU ARE IN MY HEART.
YOU, YOU ARE IN MY HEART,
YOU, YOU ARE IN MY MIND.
YOU, YOU GIVE ME MUCH PAIN,
DON'T YOU KNOW HOW GOOD I AM TO YOU.
YES, YES, YES, YES DON'T YOU KNOW HOW GOOD I AM TO YOU!

Submitter comment:

FIRST VERSE OF TWO VERSES. SUNG WHILE A CHILD IN FREEPORT,
MINNESOTA (NEAR ST. CLOUD).

Data entry tech comment:

Keypunched by R.J.Miller 11/82

Updated by TRD 01/12

Where learned: MINNESOTA ; FREEPORT ; NEAR ST CLOUD

Keyword(s): GERMAN ; LOVE ; Lyrics ; Poetry ; RHYME ; SONG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Love

Date learned: 11-00-1971

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When I was on the island of Freeport in the Bahamas I learned
of a traditional way that the Bahamian people wear their hair.
They braid all of their hair into tiny braids called cornrows and
decorate these braids with colorful beads. These braids last up
to three months. During this time the hair can still be washed.
They like this style because the weather is very warm and the
braids keep the hair away from their face and it is also a very
carefree style.

Where learned: FREEPORT ; Grand Bahamas

Subject headings: ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Human or animal body
BELIEF -- Body part Senses Hair, on head, mustache, widow's peak

Date learned: 00-00-1992

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When I was on a cruise in the Bahamas I learned of a
tradition that takes place aboard the ships of the Carnival
Cruise Line. Every evening just before the passengers are
finished eating in the main dining room all of the waiters
process out from the kitchen and perform a song and dance
routine. It is their way of entertaining the passengers while
they are dining. This custom began when the very first ship of
the Carnival Cruise Line set sail.

Where learned: FREEPORT ; Grand Bahamas

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of time Eating For menu, see N222.

Date learned: 00-00-1992

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showing 4 items

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